Newsletter – February 20, 2026
It was just before the Seventh Grade Basketball try-outs.
I joined the dozens of other boys under one of the baskets hoping to catch a rebound and have a chance to try a shot. But I never even touched a ball. There were just too many guys and most of them were taller than me.
Off to the side I saw a single tall boy shooting a single basketball at a single hoop. So I walked over to him, watched him shoot several times and then caught the ball when it came to me.
He put out his hands. “Gimme it.”
“I want to shoot it,” I said.
He stepped closer and jammed his knee into my crotch, taking the ball when I crumpled to the floor. He went back to shooting while I rolled on the floor in agony and surprise. No one had ever done that to me before.
And no one, NO ONE, made any effort to see if I was okay.
A few minutes later everyone was called over to the edge of the gym to hear the instructions for the try-outs. I pulled myself from the floor and staggered over to join them. I was embarrassed because the other boys and the coaches were acting like nothing had happened.
I’d always been an outgoing kid with a smile for everyone, so this was a completely new experience. I knew my name would be among the first ones cut from the roster, but was I crazy? He kneed me in the balls!
I was grateful not to make the team. Who wants that?
Bullying was not a problem for me. I pretty much got along with everyone. Thank goodness I found my place and my people in the Junior High Follies where I auditioned to be an emcee and four girls who were auditioning as a group invited me to join them. The five of us emceed together and introduced each act with a short skit of our own creation. Think Saturday Night Live before SNL even began.
Fast forward about twenty years to Los Angeles. My agent sent me to audition for a Sprite commercial where they lined us up in front of big bright lights in a gymnasium and told us to boogie to the music they played. Okay, sounds fun.
I was placed at the end of the line and when the music began I put on my best party face and danced. Until the tall guy next to me shoved me off the line and into the dark where I stumbled and stood stunned. This kind of thing hadn’t happened since junior high!
And no one. NO ONE made any effort to see if I was okay.
I rejoined the line and tried my best to smile for the camera but my heart wasn’t in it. And I was watching everything the creep next to me did to make sure I wouldn’t get shoved again. I was embarrassed because everyone else was acting like nothing had happened.
Let’s be clear. Despite what certain people say, might does NOT make right. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
The tech bros who spout off about moving fast and breaking things are forgetting that people get hurt when you break things.
It takes so very little to say, “Hey, are you okay?” That’s what human beings are set on this Earth to do. That’s why we say humane when someone treats someone well, and inhumane when they don’t.
Don’t tell me we need to teach more civics in school. It takes a civil society to do that. Teach civility first.
In high school I had developed the habit of “skiing” down a steep set of concrete stairs, letting my sneakers glide over the smooth edges of the steps leading down to the theatre and the boys locker rooms. One day I lost control and fell headlong toward the bottom of the stairwell.
The guy who had kneed me in the groin in junior high school was three steps ahead of me and quickly turned to catch my fall by extending his arm. “Careful,” he said kindly. “It’s kinda slippery.”
I always said he saved my life. If I had been alone I would have fallen head first into a concrete stairwell between the doors to the theatre and the boys locker room. I feel like he payed his debt to me and I’ll always remember that he took just a moment to help me. He made an effort to see if I was okay.
TTFN
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WEBSITES ABOUT BULLYING
Searching for an image to use with this newsletter, I ran across several helpful websites that I want to share here.
stopbullying.gov – A website from the US government addressing issues of bullying and prevention, including a section on “Race, Ethnicity, National Origin & Religion.”
psychologytoday.com/us/basics/bullying – A highly regarded magazine with dozens of articles about bullying, and how to deal with it.
BucketsOverBullying.org – A sports-centric initiative committed to eliminating cyberbullying among children and teens.
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Eric Margerum 