Tag: writing

Margerumalia – The Bound of the Basketballs

Eric Margerum

Newsletter – August 10, 2026

Does that title sound like a pastiche of Doyle’s The Hound of the Baskervilles? I hope it does, because that’s the intent. Here’s how it came about.

During the dress rehearsal of the short play festival in June I was sitting in the audience with my friend Steve Martin (not the Steve Martin you’re thinking of) who, like me, wrote and directed his own short play.

“Did you notice,” asked Steve, that almost every play is broadly comical and very silly except ours?” 

His play was a very affective story about someone who lost a loved one but gets a glimpse of her in a mystical way before losing her again. Mine was the dystopian future of an America without rights or the freedom to speak of such rights.

“Yeah,” I said, wondering where his train of thought was going, “I did notice.”

“Let’s make a pact,” said Steve, “Both of us will write witty inane comedies for next year and submit them to the festival.” 

“Agreed!” I said, knowing he posts puns almost daily on Facebook. We shook on it and the wheels began to turn.

Last week I recommended a Librivox recording of Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes mystery The Hound of the Baskervilles. This week I’ll introduce you to my notes for Eric Margerum’s Shirley Combs mystery “The Bound of the Basketballs.”

When I showed Steve my Notes page for this idea he waved it away, grinning “I got it just by reading the title!” And so the process begins.

Since all of Doyle’s novel is narrated by Dr. Watson, my short play will begin with a narration by Dr. Weston. Probably ending the opening speech with a remorseful sentence wishing that the renowned detective were there to help solve the mystery.

“But I am here,” says the voice of Shirley Combs before she steps into the light, “I’ve been here all along.” She enters with a self-satisfied grin in the guise of cleaning woman that is identical to the character that Carol Burnett used to play on her TV variety show.

Substituting for the English Moors will be the Basketball Floors, with an oft repeated adjective like “vast,” “desolate,” or “sinister” to evoke imagery similar to that found in the novel.

And the pernicious murder mystery to solve will be the death of Tracee Park, the young Hoosier upstart fresh out of college who took the WNBA by storm. Her detractors referred to her as “Trailer Park” before her unfortunate demise. “No more free throws for that trailer trash.”

The rest of the cast will rely on one actor quickly changing costumes to present characters like Coach Fanny Bright, Inspector LeStreet, and Concessionaire Morrie Arty.

I’ve given myself one more challenge, to come up with a satisfying resolution to the mystery that makes the audience admire the plotting skills of the writer. If that’s doesn’t happen, I’ll just make it a silly ending that employs a cringe-worthy pun.

Challenge Accepted!

TTFN

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My middle grade novel, The Most Amazing Museum of Los Angeles is available through The BookBaby Bookshop at https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-most-amazing-museum-of-los-angeles

Margerumalia – Girl Dads

Eric Margerum

Newsletter – July 24, 2026

I was reading a post on Substack the other day when another short play started germinating in my mind. While I was on my morning walk I started writing it in my head.

The Substack author, Sasha Brown-Worsham, described an incident that happened to her 19-year-old daughter. She was at the beach with her friends when they walked off to get food and she was suddenly alone. 

An older man took the opportunity to approach her, started asking uncomfortable questions and wouldn’t leave her alone. When a dad in his 40’s saw what was happening, he approached her like an old friend and successfully deflected the advances of the other man.

Later, the daughter told her mother that she and her friends have a name for men like that: Girl Dads. Men who quietly steer other men away from a girl who doesn’t want the attention nor the expectations that go with it.

While walking, I came upon a young 20-something who was taking pictures of plants at the edge of the path. I could tell she was aware of my approach, and I wanted to put her at ease so I pointed to her phone and said “My wife has an app she uses to identify wild plants she wants to learn the names of.”

Her face lit up and she returned my smile showing me her phone. “I do, too!”

“Those are great.” I said cheerfully, and continued on.

Later, when I saw her again we exchanged waves and smiles.

My short play now begins with that young woman taking a picture of a plant when the unwanted stranger approaches. I currently have him in my script as “CREEP,” but I’ll have to come up with an actual character name. 

Unlike my normal process, I’ve written a page of dialogue for when GIRL DAD gets involved and prevents CREEP from making further advances. I’m not sure how CREEP operates and tries to manipulate GIRL, but pretty soon I’ll have to strip down and step into that godawful bog to figure out what he’ll say and do.

That’ll probably alter the lines I’ve written already, but it think that’ll feel like a deep cleaning and I’m totally up for that!

I replied to Brown-Worsham’s post with my intent to write a three-hander 10-Minute play, adding “I like to think the arts can set a trend to normalize this kind of heroism.”

It can be a high bar, but I now belong to a playwrights group and I intend to get their valuable input once it’s in good shape.

TTFN

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Speaking of the playwrights group, I promised to let you know how the evening of five-minute play readings went last week (A Fugesberg Fourth). I thought it went very well and was pleased that my play got laughs in all the right places. The other plays did, too, and I’m sure the playwrights were happy with the readings.

I also got to enjoy the company of many people from Civic Theatre who had been involved in the Short Play Festival a couple of weeks ago. Three of them responded to the offer to join the Greater Lafayette Playwrights Group and our little cabal of creatives continues to grow. I love that.

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My middle grade novel, The Most Amazing Museum of Los Angeles is available through The BookBaby Bookshop at https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-most-amazing-museum-of-los-angeles

Margerumalia – All I’m Asking For…

Eric Margerum

Newsletter – June 5, 2026

Photo: Yahoo! Entertainment

RESPECT. 

Aretha Franklin sang about it in 1967. “All I’m asking is for a little respect.”

It still holds the title as Rolling Stone’s Greatest Song of All Time.

Country singer Morgan Wallen recently demonstrated his frustration over a piano malfunction by flipping it over on stage. It broke. Now no one can use it. What a waste.

It was a wooden upright piano like you might have in your living room. I know I did.

Watching that video, all I could think of was the many professional musicians who so treasured their instruments that they set up charities to give young people the opportunity to have even a fraction of the joy and creativity that they enjoyed. Music is a gift. Having the resources to buy a piano, a drum set, a trombone, or a violin, is precious.

Someone who doesn’t appreciate that doesn’t deserve to be appreciated.

In my opinion.

Imagine a sous chef destroying his expensive knife collection because one of them slipped and made a faulty cut. Imagine a famous writer throwing down her typewriter because one key got stuck. Imagine a soldier bashing their weapon against a tank because it misfired.

Later, someone posted a video of Taylor Swift who also sat at a malfunctioning upright piano. What did she do?

She opened the lid and fixed the problem. Then she continued with her concert. 

RESPECT.

I can respect that kind of musician. I could even have respected Wallen’s choice to sing the rest of the song a cappella, which he did. I think that was a classy move. But then he ruined it by going back and destroying an expensive instrument, flipping it over so no one could ever use it.

“Hurry up and break things” is NOT an admirable path to success. It’s just an irresponsible approach to life. It’s childish. I cannot respect that.

Take a look around the room where you’re reading this…or the coffee shop, or the studio, or the reading nook…and appreciate what you have in your life. Now think of the people you appreciate in your life. That carries all the hallmarks of R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

TTFN

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My middle grade novel, The Most Amazing Museum of Los Angeles is available through The BookBaby Bookshop at https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-most-amazing-museum-of-los-angeles

Margerumalia – The Auditions

Eric Margerum

Newsletter – May 22, 2026

Auditions always give me a jittery feeling inside, even when I’m behind the director’s table. I always want everyone to do well so they can walk away feeling like they gave it their best shot. Actors in these auditions witness the readings of every other actor in their time slot, and read from at least two different plays.

We call it a reading because they stand up with script in hand, but we expect to see some eye contact and hear some expression. A little movement usually helps, too. Nothing like a good gesture to illustrate a point.

Our festival director reminded us that we didn’t need to see everyone read every role in our plays, or we’d be there all night. One experienced director scoffed at the idea, and assured those around him that he could cast his play even if nobody read for it at all.

No, that wasn’t me, but he was right.

With eleven short plays, the director’s table was well populated with directors. I knew about three-quarters of them and was interested to watch how everyone operated. I was pleased to see that they were all encouraging to the actors, applauding at the end of every reading, and generous with their laughter even after hearing the same punchline for the seventh time.

Hey, a good delivery deserves a good laugh.

I recently restarted my acting classes and gave my students a chance to practice a couple of pieces from the festival. (They were available to read on line.) Two of them came to the auditions and one of them was cast in a play. I was especially happy for him because he had auditioned for every Civic Theatre production for a year or two. His dogged determination to land a role finally paid off!

They both showed that they had listened to my instructions and I thought they performed well. I was a proud papa. So many people auditioned that a little more than half the actors got cast.

My play, “Out of the Abyss,” was one of the few dramas amidst a canoodle of comedies and I was glad to see actors treat it seriously. My male cast member is someone I’ve directed before and I’m fully confident about his abilities. The female cast member was someone I’d never seen before but it was clear she had talent and I was glad to be able to secure her for this play. 

Both actors complimented my writing of the play and had high praise for the subject matter. That was a nice topping to the whole process and I look forward to working with both of them.

First rehearsal is Saturday!

TTFN

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My middle grade novel, The Most Amazing Museum of Los Angeles is available through The BookBaby Bookshop at https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-most-amazing-museum-of-los-angeles

Margerumalia – Myrtle The Turtle

Eric Margerum

Newsletter – May 15, 2026

On my morning walk a couple weeks ago I got the chance to meet this shy box turtle who wasn’t too keen on me getting so close. I thought about this turtle and as well as the knitted turtle I bought from my friend Em while creating another children’s poem.

I learned a couple things about turtles in my search for correct terminology and I want you to know about one before you read the poem. I use the word Testudines which has four syllables (tess-TOO-din-eez) with the emphasis is on the second syllable.

(Testudines are an order of reptiles made up of turtles, terrapins, and tortoises.)

Myrtle the Turtle 

#

Myrtle the turtle was known for her girdle, 

A fine looking girdle, they say.

Most every turtle is known for their shelling,

The patterns that turtles display.

#

“Not Myrtle,” the other Testudines said,

“She flounces her girdle with poise,

And she’ll lift up her beak to give you a tweak

If you make any impolite noise.”

#

The date of the scute competition arrived

And Myrtle showed up in her girdle.

But how could they tell if her scutes were all cute 

With the girdle creating that hurdle?

#

“Get rid of the girdle,” the judges told Myrtle,

“In order to show us your shelling.”

Embarrassed and shy, she moved to comply,

In her eyes the tears began welling.

#

Every Testudine looked on in shock 

And saw what the girdle was hiding,

All Myrtle’s scutes were totally plain

With no pattern or marking presiding.

#

“The Unadorned Queen!” the judges exclaimed,

All kneeling as best they were able,

The whole shelling crowd then hoisted her high,

To make Myrtle the head of the table.

#

Queen Myrtle reigned longer than forty-nine years

Then passed on her girdle to Mortise

His reign lasted almost for ninety-nine years 

Because he, of course, was a tortoise.

#

Like the last poem I shared, I added hashtags to separate the stanzas.

I hope you enjoyed it. I was tickled when I discovered the ending. I hadn’t seen that coming.

I had no idea where this poem was headed when I began, just the rhymes of turtle, Myrtle and girdle. It developed as I was writing it and searching for additional rhyming words for the end of each line.

If you want to get into the poetic weeds with me, the stanzas are pretending to be four lines alternating between four and three feet, but are, in fact, two lines of seven feet each. That’s where the rhymes fall. The very first line informed me how the poem wanted to sound.

Here’s the original turtle my friend knitted.

She sits on our dining room table and lends her soft shell to support my phone. 

Myrtle, they say, is a very good friend,

And she is a really cute turtle.

TTFN

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If you received this email because it was forwarded to you by a subscriber, welcome. You can subscribe as well by following the link on my website: ericmargerum.com. A free story awaits you there.

Margerumalia – The Proctor Factor

Eric Margerum

Newsletter – May 8, 2026

I’m proctoring AP tests this week for local high school students seeking Advance Placement for college credit. If they make a top score of 5 they have one less requirement to complete in their college career.

I complimented one student on her crisp new Stanford sweatshirt and asked if she had already been accepted. She had and was very pleased to hear my congratulations. 

I hope her parents didn’t have the same reaction as my mom when I said I got accepted to the University of Southern California for grad school. “So far away?” she asked with disappointment. I appreciated her wanting me nearer to home, but really wanted to hear that congratulations.

Proctoring exams takes a bit of training to be aware of sophisticated methods used to cheat. No longer do students sneak crib notes cradled in the palms of their hands. Nor do they write answers on their arms or their jeans. No we’re talking about technology here.

“Everyone must place all electronic devices on the table at the front of the room. Powered down. Not silenced or in Airplane Mode. This includes tablets, smart watches, and phones.” (I expect by next year they’ll include “smart glasses” on that list.)

The students use a laptop to take the test, but the software will cancel the test immediately if a student leaves the Bluebook Platform for any reason before the test is completed. 

The second part is a written component collected by the proctors.

I wonder if any of them were told to practice their penmanship. I remember reading years ago about an experiment where educators were asked to evaluate an essay. Some were given a version with poor handwriting and some were given a version with good handwriting. Same words in both cases.

Want to predict the outcome?

You’re right. The essays with good handwriting were universally evaluated with high scores while the ones with poor handwriting were lower. Same essay.

My wife and I are currently watching “Suits” on Netflix and those high powered lawyers are all dressed to the nines in every episode. Their clients trust the well dressed lawyers because they look successful. I can’t help but compare that to the penmanship experiment.

On the second day I was the only proctor in a small room of three and I read aloud all of the instructions with very few stumbles. I’m pleased to be able to say my speech is slowly improving, especially in comparison to my Father Of The Bride speech a year ago. I’ll take the win.

TTFN

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My middle grade novel, The Most Amazing Museum of Los Angeles is available through The BookBaby Bookshop at https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-most-amazing-museum-of-los-angeles

Margerumalia – Spring Author Fair

Eric Margerum

Newsletter – April 10, 2026

I’m looking forward to attending another Spring Author Fair at our Tippecanoe County Library where I’ll be doing my elevator pitch about The Most Amazing Museum of Los Angeles and talk a bit about the sequel, The Most Amazing Museum of Chicago.

Because a giant maze is featured in the first book I’ll be giving away free mazes that I found on line (including the website where they can find more). I really enjoy talking to people, especially hearing from children about their interests. Several adults have bought copies of the book to read to their children or grandchildren. That really warms my heart.

I’ve written about a third of MAMCHI including quite a lengthy section where two girls go back in time to The Great Chicago Fire. Two boys, meanwhile, have a rainforest adventure which results in a torrent of water almost pulling them under. And the young teacher and her student find themselves in a toy workshop where unexpected things take place.

Beware The Game Master! He keeps on showing up and making trouble for the young people.

I’ve also been writing more poems for my side project of Verses Versus Curses, a collection of verses that I think children will enjoy. I’ll read a few of them at the Author Fair to anyone who wants to listen.

(My speech seems to be improving, but still gets a little slurry by the end of the day.)

I’m sharing my latest poem with you below. This time I’m inserting a hashtag between the stanzas to give them clear separation.

Thirteen is a Lucky Number

Thirteen is a lucky number, everybody knows,

I have thirteen fingers when I use three of my toes.

A basement should have thirteen stairs if someone builds it right,

I always count my thirteen steps when I go down at night.

#

They say to break a mirror gives you seven years of bad

Luck is just a silly notion, or so says my dad.

My black cat’s name is Shadow and her eyes glow in the dark

Sometimes just to scare her I will crawl upstairs and bark. 

#

Thirteen is a baker’s dozen, I like snicker-doodles.

Let’s make a batch and split them up, as long as I get oodles.

The seasons each have thirteen weeks and I like autumn best,

Next Halloween I’ll wear a scary mask when I get dressed.

#

Poems that have thirteen lines are better than the rest!

TTFN

* * * * *

Here’s another of my entries in the weekly caption contest by “The New Yorker.”

Yes, a little morning flute music is nice, it’s the midnight drum solos I can’t bear.

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My middle grade novel, The Most Amazing Museum of Los Angeles is available through The BookBaby Bookshop at https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-most-amazing-museum-of-los-angeles

Margerumalia – Friends, Lovers, and The Big Terrible Thing

Eric Margerum

Newsletter – March 27, 2026

Matthew Perry and I apparently wore the same Chandler Bing smirk to our photoshoots! Mine was about 1993, Perry’s was published on the cover of his memoir in 2022.

Could our smiles be any more similar?

I yield all future copyright for the Chandler smirk to him, but I want it to be known that my photoshoot was at least a year prior to the debut of Friends. Maybe two. I could hardly copy an expression that I had never seen before.

I bought the memoir shortly after he died in 2023. Ketamine overdose. I finally pulled it off the shelf because my wife found a TV channel that plays about four episodes of Friends back-to-back every afternoon.

Seeing Matty—as he refers to himself throughout the book—grow from a young 25 year-old into a mature 35 year-old over and over again drew me like a moth to his flame.

I had no idea about the intensity of that flame.

He was an addict from early, early, on. At two months, when he wouldn’t stop crying, the doctor prescribed phenobarbital to give some relief to the baby and his parents. Matty spent the rest of his life, taking drugs, drinking heavily, and smoking. Today, a colicky baby is treated with a nice round of probiotics, maybe some baby gas drops, and a warm belly rub. He is NOT given a highly addictive drug in the earliest days of his brain’s development.

Matty’s journey was a tough one and he’s brutally honest about it, but he also treats the reader to insights about his career, his relationships, and his dearest friendships.

The saddest part of the memoir is the conclusion where he’s finally out of the woods, saying that OxyContin will not rule his life again, the daily jugs of vodka are all in the past, and that he gave up smoking. To hear him say those words—literally, if you’re listening to him narrate the audiobook—while knowing he sank slowly into his swimming pool while Ketamine surged through his veins, is not easy when you think of him as one of your Friends.

God bless you, Matty, and may your afterlife provide all the remedies you spent 54 years trying your best to find.

TTFN

* * * * *

In the spirit of Matthew Perry’s quick wit and love of laughter, I offer you my latest entry in the weekly caption contest from “The New Yorker.” Perhaps I’ll win one of these days.

I mean, it’s like she expects me to be an Everything Bagel!

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My middle grade novel, The Most Amazing Museum of Los Angeles is available through The BookBaby Bookshop at https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-most-amazing-museum-of-los-angeles

Margerumalia – Meet-iversary Celebration

Eric Margerum

Newsletter – March 27, 2026

Debbie and I stopped for a selfie beside the movie poster for The Bride! at our local theater. The two monsters are on the right, in case you were wondering. 

A few days later we had another date night celebrating our meet-iversary at our favorite restaurant, The Bryant. The fact that The Bride! and The Bryant almost sound alike is just a lucky coincidence.

We met when a mutual friend, Kat, was celebrating her 40th birthday and invited each of us to a party in a very modern house perched high atop the Hollywood Hills. It wasn’t her house, but it was a spectacular work of architecture with large windows looking down on the lights of Sunset Blvd.

If you want to get a good look at the house where we met, you can find it on YouTube under “Lethal Weapon 2 (9/10) Movie CLIP – Bringing Down the House (1989) HD”. Don’t worry about the fact that Mel Gibson drags the house down the hillside, that’s just a model. We visited the house a couple years ago and it’s still there.

Debbie was Kat’s massage therapist, and Kat and I were both in the same acting class. Kat knew I was working as a bartender at the Pantages Theatre and she offered to pay me to pour wine at her party. I offered to gift my services in honor of her birthday and she thanked me, telling  me to consider myself a guest. “There will also be single women there,” she added with a smile. (As a friend of my ex-fiancee,  she knew I had been single for about a year.)

Kat’s comment to Debbie was similar: “There will also be single men there.”

Debbie came down the stairs and smiled at me, and I thought I’d like to be the one who kindled that smile for years to come. She, in turn, has said many times that her first thought was “Oh, there’s my future husband.” We talked throughout the rest of the evening and got married a year and two months after that. 

Is that a classic Hollywood meet-cute or what?!

Someone gave us a photo of Debbie and I from that night and it sits in a place of honor on our mantle. That’s me on the left, mid-sentence, talking to my acting teacher. Debbie is in profile holding the wine I poured her. No one knows who the skinny-tie-guy is, but he’s holding an empty wine glass so that might explain his expression of exasperation. 

Not my fault, I had just met my future wife!

TTFN

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If you received this email because it was forwarded to you by a subscriber, welcome. You can subscribe as well by following the link on my website: ericmargerum.com. A free story awaits you there.

Margerumalia – The Bride!

Eric Margerum

Newsletter – March 13, 2026

Our daughter’s appearance in The Bride! came at the very end during the closing credits. That’s Lora holding the ax.

We thought the movie was over and her scene had been cut. Two proud parents watching the whole movie only to realize that their daughter’s scene was left on the cutting room floor (or whatever the digital equivalent may be).

BUT THEN the credits continued over Lora’s scene just as she described it! The picture above is her second appearance, the first came right at the very start of the scene, as her Dad shouted “There she is!” Good thing the matinee was practically a private screening and the music played loudly enough that no one else heard me.

Speaking of music, there were two spots in the film that made me laugh at Gyllenhaal’s choice of music. For the end credits they played the old Halloween favorite “The Monster Mash” which reflects the theme of Mary Shelley’s monster who never got a name of his own. It also reflected the story’s trend of idolizing the two monsters. 

The other musical homage was a full blown dance number to “Puttin’ On The Ritz,” which was also used by Gene Wilder in Young Frankenstein. In fact, Christian Bale yells that titular phase during the dance with the same inflection that Peter Boyle’s monster had used. Nice touch!

The movie was not a horror movie. In fact, I only averted my eyes for about 10 seconds twice so I wouldn’t see what I was afraid I was going to see. (I’m sort of talking around those two moments to avoid a spoiler.)

The Bonnie-and-Clyde dynamic I mentioned last week is an apt comparison, but the significant difference is the number of camera angles where women react to The Bride’s rants. In one such rant she even repeats “Me too!” several times. It’s clear that she’s having an impact which will gradually grow stronger. It also motivates the scene Lora is in, where women have adopted the look of The Bride and flaunt the weapons they carry to defend themselves.

It’s a film where the monster is a kind and loving man contrasted by many other men who are truly monsters.

I wouldn’t have gone to see the movie but for Lora’s appearance, but now I’m recommending it for you to go see. I think you’ll be glad you did.

TTFN

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Two weeks ago I shared my poem “Emerson Aaronson Sat By The Sea” and took it to my writing group for feedback. I thought you might be interested to know about its next stage of development.

Woody, a member of the group pointed out two lines that made him stop and re-read. They were: 

A fish from the ocean that flies through the water 

Or an eagle up-soaring just like her dad taught her.

Emerson is a boy and the female gender of the eagle caused confusion. After all, Emerson was imagining himself as the eagle. The reason I had done so was to enable the rhyme of water and taught her. Taught him wouldn’t work. We discussed the possibilities and Woody suggested making Emerson a girl instead.

I wasn’t sure if people would understand Emerson to be a girl’s name, but SURPRISE, in 2024 the girls named Emerson outnumbered the boys by about three to one. 

I went through the poem changing every he to a her and every himself to herself and it works really well! Thanks, Woody! 

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My middle grade novel, The Most Amazing Museum of Los Angeles is available through The BookBaby Bookshop at https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-most-amazing-museum-of-los-angeles