Newsletter – April 4, 2025
This was the line I submitted for the New Yorker’s monthly caption contest. I hope you enjoyed it. Mine wasn’t chosen, but I like trying my hand at the game.
My wife laughed out loud when she read it and she doesn’t give up those LOL’s easily, so it’s already a winning caption in my book.
I thought a bit of humor would be a fun theme for April Fools’ Week.
ADDITIONAL WELLNESS CENTER FOLK
I described eleven different types of folk at the Wellness Center in my Feb. 21 Margerumalia. Since then, I’ve come up with three more:
Tippy-Toe Trudy: No exaggeration, this young lady is walking around the track on the balls of her feet! I’ve seen her leave the oval walking flat-footed, but she walks several laps on the balls of her feet. Is she building up her calves for high heels? Who knows.
The Bond Villain: A middle-aged man with close-cropped salt-and-pepper hair gave me a steely-eyed look when I said good morning as he was putting on his shoes. He said nothing, just stared, and the voice I heard was saying, “No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die.”
The Loving Couple: These two are on Cloud Nine, hands clasped and walking at a pace better suited for the seashore. Maybe that’s the world they’re actually walking in. I remember making out with a girlfriend in a parking lot when a passer-by in a car yelled at us to get a room. We broke out of the embrace both laughing. No shield like love.
A BIT OF PARODY
You may know the famous first line of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. No? Oh, go look it up, it made me laugh when I read it at fifteen. (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/42671)
On a recent quick trip I packed a single bag in order to avoid additional airline fees and I came up with this thought in imitation of Jane Austen:
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a traveler in possession of a good bag, will be in want of adequate space for the same possessions on the return trip.
BUTTS ON THINGS
I got this page-a-day calendar from a member of my writing group. She’d gotten it for her husband and he was kind of indifferent about it. It tickles the same little boy in me who giggles at fart jokes. I now enjoy a giggle every day. (You can find more of his silliness at briancook.net.)
MAMCHI HUMOR
In The Most Amazing Museum of Los Angeles I made a point of letting my readers know how to say the MAMLA acronym by way of the docent, Doris Weatherton. For the sequel I decided to provide the readers with a similar moment with the MAMCHI docent, Morris Weatherton, but with a humorous twist:
“I am MORRIS WEATHERTON.” He continued his speech with large gestures and dramatic tones that belonged in the center of a three ring circus. “I am your DOCENT. Your guide to MAMCHI.” He pronounced the acronym “MOM-chee.”
“I’d have said it MOM-shee,” Tamara said to the others.
“Or MOM-shih,” added Brock, “because it’s short for SHIH-cago.”
“No, that doesn’t work,” said Yesta. “It sounds too much like you’re gonna say sh—”
“CHILDREN of all AGES,” said Morris Weatherton quickly…
BOOK SIGNING
No joke. The Tippecanoe County Library invited me to participate in a Local Author Fair on April 19th from 1:00 PM to 4:00 PM. I’ll be signing books, giving away mazes, and giving a 15-minute presentation about writing and about my book.
If you’re nearby, I hope you’ll swing by and say hi.
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Eric Margerum 