Margerumalia – My Familect

Newsletter – June 20, 2025

PHOTO CREDIT: http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/grammar-girl

Grammar Girl has been in my podcast feed for about a dozen years and I always learn something new and interesting from her. She feels like a friend that lives in my pocket just to tell me stuff about the English Language.

Last week she interviewed an expert on gestures and how they play a role in communication, including differences among cultures. Italians, for example, tend to gesture from the shoulder all the way down the arm, using plenty of space in front of them and to the sides. Germans, on the other hand [no pun intended], use their arms from the elbows when they talk, and their gestures are just to the front.

As a result, we tend to think that Italians use more gestures while Germans use less. Turns out that their gesture count was the same, but the style of gesture gives the impression of more. 

Mignon Fogarty, the actual name of Grammar Girl, also has a unique segment she calls the “familect.” That’s a portmanteau—or mash-up—of “family” and “dialect” indicating a term that your family understands but others would not. 

My younger brother created such a familect when he was learning to talk, enthusiastically shouting “wrench ryes” when Mom pulled the french fries out of the oven. We fondly called them wrench ryes for years afterwards. 

My daughter was the source of what I’ll call a familect adjacent story. 

She was in the fourth grade and had joined the Spell Bowl team—different from a spelling bee because every member contributes to the success of the team. 

One day when I came home from work, she was sitting at the kitchen counter going over her list of words while Debbie prepared dinner. One word was really stumping her: bureaucracy.

I’d picked up many different techniques for memorization so I studied the letters and came up with this sentence: Big Ugly Red Elephants Are Under Cars, Reading And Cooking Yams. Our daughter was thrilled, Debbie told me to write it down before I forget, and I was the hero of the moment! 

Fast forward several months to an elementary school gym where about twenty Spell Bowl teams were competing for the regional championship. Each round, another set of students sat with their proctors at desks spread across the gym floor and when the speaker carefully announced each word, the students wrote it on a piece of paper in front of them. The proctors confirmed each correct word and points were added to the team’s score. Six one-point words, and one two-point bonus word.

When it was our daughter’s turn, the bonus word was—I kid you not—bureaucracy. 

She spun around in her chair and spied us in the bleachers on the other side of the gym. Her expression said “I GOT this!” Her proctor quickly instructed her to face front as my wife and I grinned and quietly recited my sentence: Big Ugly Red Elephants Are Under Cars, Reading And Cooking Yams.

The team didn’t win a trophy, but our daughter got a perfect score on all her words and practically knocked us down with hugs afterwards. 

We went out for ice cream to celebrate.

TTFN

* * * * *

My middle grade novel, The Most Amazing Museum of Los Angeles, is available through The BookBaby Bookshop at https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-most-amazing-museum-of-los-angeles

Margerumalia – Apostrophizing 

Newsletter – August 30, 2024

No, I didn’t make up a new word this time, you can put away your score cards. But don’t throw them away all together, I’m bound to invent more in the future.

Apostrophizing is “to punctuate a word with an apostrophe.” And since Grammar Girl has discussed this issue on her podcast twice in three weeks, I thought I’d add my two cents’ worth. (Note the apostrophe after “cents.”)

The sign in the photo has been hanging on the family home for at least ten years, maybe twenty, and the apostrophe has been getting my goat all this time. 

As a theatre professor teaching in liberal arts colleges for many years, I corrected hundreds—my wife says thousands—of student papers. Supporting a Writing Across The Curriculum dictum, it was my job to assign papers, give corrections, collect rewrites, and grade them. I got really good at spotting errors and deciphering what the students actually meant to say. There was a lot of teaching going on in those exchanges! 

So what’s wrong with the Margerum sign? It’s beautifully crafted and a lovely gift to my parents that I’ve kept hanging by the front door just for the aesthetic, but that apostrophe is all wrong. 

This is a house that holds more than one Margerum. So the sign should simply say “The Margerums” without an apostrophe.

If you argue that the implied concept is that it’s the house belonging to the Margerums, then the possessive apostrophe belongs at the end: The Margerums’ House. In its current location the possessive would be the house of only one Margerum. That has never been true in the history of this domicile.

I’ve seen a crayon-type of wood filler sold in many different wood shades which could potentially fill in the offending punctuation mark, but it’d still be visible. Kind of like applying White-Out to a scribbled out misspelling on a birthday card. We all see it. 

So live and let live, I guess. Maybe the Grammar Police won’t come pounding on our door…or door’s. 

* * * * *

I highly recommend Grammar Girl podcasts as well as her books and website. She’s very accessible and explains grammar with genuine enthusiasm and a sense of fun. 

Her episodes on the apostrophe are #1006 and #1009. 

You’ll find her at https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/grammar-girl/

* * * * *

I’ll be returning to Barnes & Noble in Lafayette, Indiana, to do another book signing on Saturday, September 7 from 11:00 AM to 4:00 PM. 

The Most Amazing Museum of Los Angeles is also available through The BookBaby Bookshop at https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-most-amazing-museum-of-los-angeles