Newsletter – March 7, 2025
PHOTO: freepik.com
Get out your score card and that little stubby pencil you pocketed after a game of mini-golf, it’s time to award points for my new word: Protaxination. [That’s three points for a new word.]
Protaxination is the process of finding other things to do instead of working on your taxes. (Verb: protaxinating.) [Add one point for verbinizing the noun]
[Ooo, did you see that? I earned three more points for inventing the word verbinizing!]
I know I’ve been guilty of protaxination in years past, how about you? Was your spam folder suddenly demanding to be examined for lost emails (mark the Margerumalia as “not spam”). Have the dust bunnies under your bed hit critical mass requiring Nerf Dart™ intervention? And where DID you put that mini-golf score card you were going to show off to your friends last August? Gotta find it now!
Hold on protaxinator [two more points for developing a word for a person who protaxinates], you have a job to do. Just sit your butt down in the chair, separate your W-2’s from your 1099’s, total them up and write the corresponding numbers in lines 7 and 8. Now pull out that box of receipts, both physical and virtual, and decide whether that box of Cheez-Its® was an office expense or a meal, in which case you may only deduct 27% and write that number on line 32. Easy, right?
Okay, I’ll admit that was oddly specific.
Quick flashback to my youth: I was walking home from high school and met up with our neighbor, Mr. Spies. He asked me how school was going and I complained about things I had to learn that I would never use, ever! He heard me out and then reflected that maybe school teaches us how to complete assignments whether we want to or not. “I don’t want to do my taxes,” he said, “but I have to do them every year whether I want to or not. Maybe the work you’re doing for that class isn’t about the subject but just learning to do the work itself.”
That actually helped.
Before you leap out of your beanbag chair to do your taxes, did you add nine points to your score card? No? You really need to sharpen that little stubby pencil. That’s not a seven, that’s a nine. Thank you.
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT – Getting your taxes submitted sooner than later is going to be very important this year if you want to receive a timely refund. Captain Chaos and Major Mess have laid off 7,000 IRS workers so far and the resulting bottleneck will make the supply chain problems of a few years ago look like the Puppy Bowl.
TTFN
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Eric Margerum 