Tag: PSA

Margerumalia – Protaxination

Eric Margerum

Newsletter – March 7, 2025

PHOTO: freepik.com

Get out your score card and that little stubby pencil you pocketed after a game of mini-golf, it’s time to award points for my new word: Protaxination. [That’s three points for a new word.]

Protaxination is the process of finding other things to do instead of working on your taxes. (Verb: protaxinating.) [Add one point for verbinizing the noun] 

[Ooo, did you see that? I earned three more points for inventing the word verbinizing!]

I know I’ve been guilty of protaxination in years past, how about you? Was your spam folder suddenly demanding to be examined for lost emails (mark the Margerumalia as “not spam”). Have the dust bunnies under your bed hit critical mass requiring Nerf Dart™ intervention? And where DID you put that mini-golf score card you were going to show off to your friends last August? Gotta find it now!

Hold on protaxinator [two more points for developing a word for a person who protaxinates], you have a job to do. Just sit your butt down in the chair, separate your W-2’s from your 1099’s, total them up and write the corresponding numbers in lines 7 and 8. Now pull out that box of receipts, both physical and virtual, and decide whether that box of Cheez-Its® was an office expense or a meal, in which case you may only deduct 27% and write that number on line 32. Easy, right? 

Okay, I’ll admit that was oddly specific.

Quick flashback to my youth: I was walking home from high school and met up with our neighbor, Mr. Spies. He asked me how school was going and I complained about things I had to learn that I would never use, ever! He heard me out and then reflected that maybe school teaches us how to complete assignments whether we want to or not. “I don’t want to do my taxes,” he said, “but I have to do them every year whether I want to or not. Maybe the work you’re doing for that class isn’t about the subject but just learning to do the work itself.”

That actually helped.

Before you leap out of your beanbag chair to do your taxes, did you add nine points to your score card? No? You really need to sharpen that little stubby pencil. That’s not a seven, that’s a nine. Thank you. 

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT – Getting your taxes submitted sooner than later is going to be very important this year if you want to receive a timely refund. Captain Chaos and Major Mess have laid off 7,000 IRS workers so far and the resulting bottleneck will make the supply chain problems of a few years ago look like the Puppy Bowl.

TTFN 

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Margerumalia – A New Year’s Resolution, Part 1

Eric Margerum

Newsletter – January 3, 2025

As I said last week, I don’t usually make resolutions. But this year I have a specific goal: retraining myself to speak. 

Me—actor, singer, director, teacher, public speaker—with a speech impediment? What gives?

Over the past few years I’ve noticed that my ability to say certain phrases has left me tongue-tied, and it got worse in 2024. Of course, this escalated during the period when I was scheduling multiple book signings, but I soldiered on through, and people patiently waited for me as I corrected my words. Bless them. But I wasn’t satisfied. 

I got new insight into how it feels to have a disability. Suddenly I required people’s tolerance as I saw weariness creep across their faces, maybe they even had the urge to complete my sentences for me. I’ve been told by several people that they didn’t notice, so it could have been my projection. My own impatience with myself, however, made me want to avoid lengthy conversations, and I became a little bit reclusive. I also found myself tiring more easily while directing plays.

I’d had enough. 

Over the summer, my wife and I made an appointment with a Doctor of Functional Medicine, each for different reasons. We had blood drawn at a lab where it was analyzed according to the instructions of the doctor. She then reviewed the entire blood panel with each of us, identifying levels of everything from glucose to magnesium, uric acid, iron, and much more. She also drew comparisons between certain items and discussed the implications of their levels.

Near the end of my appointment she said that certain indicators told her I was fighting off an infection. Nonsense, I thought, I never get sick and my only bout with COVID was over a year earlier. I had no idea what kind of infection she might be referring to. She prescribed a few different supplements to help my body fight off this unknown infection.

Two or three weeks into taking those supplements I had a revelation. My tooth! 

Remember a few weeks ago I described my tooth extraction experience in the dentist’s office? (November 29, 2024 – Christmas Lights and Dental Blights) My previous dentist had been “watching” that tooth for about two years, poking around at the pustule in my gums. That was the infection! And because the pustule hadn’t opened and leaked into my mouth, that meant I had a constant flow of infection going into my bloodstream. 

There had also been a previous tooth on the bottom row that we had “watched” for a couple of years before that. It had the same kind of pustule that was also draining into my bloodstream for a couple of years before it started hurting and had to be extracted.

These infections were all near my tools for articulation, and close to my brain, the control center for speaking. 

I admit to being complicit in the decision to “watch” each tooth. Shall we put off for tomorrow what I don’t want to experience today? Sure, let’s do that!

When I added up the timeline of those two teeth, one after the other, it matched the time period in which my speech had started to change.

I know the expression that correlation is not causation, but with a lack of any other known infection in my body it makes for pretty strong circumstantial evidence. (Yes, I do watch The Lincoln Lawyer AND read the books, why do you ask?)

I have another blood draw in a couple of days followed by another analysis and consultation. I have high hopes for closure on this issue. 

I’d estimate that my speech is about 50% better than it was a few months ago, but that’s not good enough for me. Next week I’ll tell you about my personal speech therapy using poetry.

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PSA: Part of the reason I’ve described this situation in detail is to prompt you or your loved ones to seek medical treatment when you need it. A former student of mine just posted a similar PSA about his recent surgery for skin cancer. Early detection and treatment is so much less expensive than what may develop. Please take care of yourselves.

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My middle grade novel, The Most Amazing Museum of Los Angeles is available through The BookBaby Bookshop at https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-most-amazing-museum-of-los-angeles